another time// another place

What if it were another place in time?
but instead of physical things being different, the people were different.
you would still be you, and i would still be me, but we wouldn't be
exactly the same as we are now.
who knows if we would even recognize ourselves?
it would be like the theory that everything effects everything else, only the circumstances are different. that time you hit the cat that belonged to the family up the street from you never happened. you no longer know what it is like to deal the cold hand of death. the pain and remorse that you felt that time, it is gone. and the like with your happiest day, when your little sister was born, you were 8 and you always wanted someone to play with, someone you could stand up for someday. there were complications, your father told you but everything is okay, your mother and the baby were both doing really well. at eight years old you could understand the feeling of your heart in your throat or why you crying even though everything was alright. but your father said it was okay, so it was. he brought you in to the hospital room where your mom was still half asleep from the epidural. she saw you and her face began to glow as she introduced you to your sister, and then you held her. you still remember that feeling of holding new life. the joy of being, what you had dreamed of since you were big enough to catch a ball. but that too is gone. you are just you, a clean slate. it's bittersweet. but you get to reinvent those things without knowing it.
would you trade it all away for a chance at a clean slate? to be able to control who you are but without any control. would you come out the same, or would you even want to?

sometimes i think, i would. and i think most of all that is kinda scary.

so the yesterday i caught a girl who had been shoplifting in my store for several months, we had just never been able to catch her in the act. but i got her, i am happy and sad. happy that she isn't stealing from anymore but said that it had to be right before the holiday. i guess there isn't really anything to be sad about, i didn't make her steal. she said she has a three year old son, she is my age. i guess that is a good example to set. at least he will be ignorant to it.
i went and saw good old war on friday it was a great show, i recorded some of the songs on my phone i don't know how the quality is, but i am going to try to skim the audio off of the video files and do some minimal cleaning of it. keith said that they will be taking the time from now until mid-february to get the new songs together and demo them out. i also bought him a shot of jameson. good times. thats all for now.

unfaithful

i have been unfaithful to my blog. i haven't cheated on it, but i have been into updating it as often as i should. i don't think people read it so, if you do just leave a comment, say, 'hi' or something. it's enough motivation.

lately i have had this line from a song by this town needs guns--"[...]yesteryear still rings in my ear[...]" simple enough, right? it is in the song "if i sit still maybe i'll get out of here"
so i don't know if it is just because, or if my subconscious is wanting me to rehash things for further investigation. that sounds stupid. anyway its a good song and a great band so you should check them out.

i went through my notepad in my phone today, and i found this poem. I don't know if i wrote it, or if i read it somewhere so i wrote in there. it's from tuesday, december 9 at 2:45 am:
one time.
in the incipiency.
he.thought.
that i though. passion over vision.
person over impression.

clearly i was drunk if i was awake this time. also clear through my molestation of punctuation.

i googled the whole thing, the closest thing i found to it was this: Emerson's Essay XI Intellect from Essays First Series. it is a pretty cool little read, i hadn't read it before.
but i was quite pleased with both, what little i wrote, and the plethora that Emerson had to offer.

i have started making christmas presents for my co-workers again, last year i made a collection of skulls, this year just a gnome for one person. he is sitting on his jenga blcok brother, for he is carved from one himself. the back drop is the sweater vest i am working on for myself. the picture is shitty because it is from my phone and vzwpix.com sucks.


i'm pleased with that for now i guess.